Ever wonder how to get rid of the toxic people in your life? Ever wonder why they are toxic in the first place or how to #EvictTheBully ? Here is my #1 Strategy for healing your heart and moving forward in a positive way. Feel free to use this as a template… you can fill in “John” or “Jane” and adjust the adjectives as necessary but the idea of the letter is still the same. So grab a pen and paper or your computer screen and start writing your own Dear “John” letter… and let’s start the Eviction Process
This is one of the hardest letters I’ve ever had to write but I finally have the courage, so here goes…
This relationship isn’t working for me. I thought it would or could in the past but you have repeatedly showed me that you either don’t want to or are incapable of supporting me. Your doubt in me and my abilities has started to make me doubt myself and that just can’t continue.
I have made a commitment to myself that I will no longer accept unacceptable behavior, and I have to tell you, in my opinion, ignoring me, dismissing me, laughing at me or talking about me to other people behind my back… is all UNACCEPTABLE. I realize I may have doubted my self-worth in the past but that is changing. I have DREAMS and I am VALUABLE, just the way I am! Not the way you want me to be or you think I should be, but JUST THE WAY I AM!
Your judgmental eye rolls and condescending sneers are no longer something I want to see. I want people around me that appreciate me. That think I am Pretty, Smart, Witty, Exceptional, Lovely, Kind, Considerate and Loving because I am all of those things. I have been wasting my energy trying to get you to think so, and in the process, I started forgetting they were true because YOU didn’t validate them for me, but NO MORE!
I am starting to feel FREE just by writing this down and I am on a roll…. I realize now your lack of caring for me and my feelings, isn’t a reflection of me, it is a reflection of you… you are letting your selfishness and insecurities dictate your actions, so as much as I felt like a victim before I recognized these things, now I just feel sorry for you. It must be lonely where you live, constantly surveying your situation and comparing yourself to others. That is why you are micro managing me. You can’t stand to look at yourself and who you really are, so you spend your time targeting me.
I’m actually flattered by this reality. Ha! I don’t know why I’ve been afraid to stand up for myself in the past but I am ready to face my future with a clarity that is fresh and clear and I have to tell you… It doesn’t include you in your current state of toxicity. And before you tell me… “You’ve got it all wrong… I do care for you and your feelings.” I have to tell you, I don’t FEEL Valued which means you aren’t honoring the things that are important to me and that is no longer acceptable to me.
You bring sadness, discouragement and disappointment into my life so I have
chosen to revoke your All Access Pass. You are now in the “Restricted Zone”. To return from the “Restricted Zone” you would have to change your ways, find out what it means to be kind, supportive and even selfless sometimes. It will be a long journey but if you are committed to it, there is always HOPE! Heck I’ve been hoping for some time now that you would wake up and realize what a special gift you have in someone like me. Now I realize that is a bit pathetic. Why was I giving you my power? In all honesty, it was ME who allowed you to cloud my thinking about who I am. I chose to let you “IN” and now I choose to let you “OUT”. I choose Peace, Joy, Happiness, Self-Worth, Confidence, Love & Believing I AM ENOUGH!
So as mad at you as I was when I started writing this letter… now I simply feel gratitude! Yes, Gratitude because without you treating me so poorly, I never would have had the courage to kick your toxic butt to the curb so I could develop into the even more amazing person that is waiting on the other side of this letter.
Thank you for FREEING me from what could have been a life sentence if I hadn’t been inspired by someone to remember that I am GOOD Enough, STRONG Enough, PRETTY Enough, SMART Enough, & KIND Enough to #RockThatDream… It’s My Dream, and I’m excited about My Journey!
So thanks again “John” you have changed the person I am today and who knows, maybe the reason you are the way you are is because you need to write Dear “John” or Dear “Jane” letters to the toxic people in your life. I have to tell you… it is quite FREEING!
So to recap, I am officially taking back my power, believing in myself, removing toxic people from my life, living my dreams and searching for people that make me feel valued. If you want to get to know the new me, you will have to apply for re-entry from the “Restricted Zone” The criteria is much more stringent now, but I AM WORTH IT! If you have come to that conclusion too, we might have something to talk about!
Looking forward to being the BEST ME I CAN BE and I hope that for you too, but until then… “Bye!”
A little look inside my new book coming out soon Evict The Bully In Your Head – If you want to get notified about the release and some special invitation only things that are coming, click here for early access. I want to help you #EvictTheBully and if you have stories of overcoming your bully I’d love to hear them and maybe choose you to be on my Podcast Vicki Fitch Live: Evict The Bully. Click here to tell me about your story.
Until next time remember to
Dream it, Believe it, Achieve it! – You are ENOUGH!